Just the thought of that is repulsive and no amount of sweet talk or reasoning is going to overcome that gut reaction.
This is because the way we say things trigger attraction or repulsion at the subconscious level. He said more than once how tired he is and how he falls asleep at 8 most nights. Overall I got too much of a “poor me” vibe and not enough “man of action.” Of course no STD or psychological testing was mentioned. He complained about the apartment he is renting – how it feels like a jail, how he has to lay on the bed to watch TV, how he wishes he knew earlier that his brother was out of town so he could be staying at his place, etc. I will use this as an opportunity to make myself stronger and healthier.We had our first “date” since the separation, and it was a disaster. I did it in a very I-know-I’m-hot-so-I-don’t-even-care-that-you-don’t kind of way, with an evil smirk on my face. If this was a first date I would not be going on a second one. I have battled with poor self-esteem, and even I knew I was smoking. Finally, near the end of our time together, after I returned from the bathroom and caught two guys checking me out, I mentioned something about his lack of notice/caring/whatever of me. I don't understand and I am in so much pain that it's causing me to loose sleep at night . I found out about my EW's "extra-curricular activities" as well.