Knowing that I was moving back to a small town after years of living in cities, I looked at my therapist and said: "I can't date someone who has children. And while I was in love with both the man and the kid, I was totally lost. There is nothing wrong with single or divorced parents. But my friends back home in the small town I was moving back to? He had a son with his ex-girlfriend, who I also remember from my past. I was in a relationship with a man who had a 10-year-old son. I was 29 years old, and the majority of my friends in Chicago were childless or childfree, whichever term you prefer. I knew that by moving back here, I was inviting many children into my day-to-day life -- and probably my love life, too. Despite all of my fears, I reconnected with this man from my youth.I have learnt through maturity and life’s little lessons, that limiting yourself or options because of the checklist of the perfect man or ideal relationship you have etched in your mind doesn’t actually prove to be realistic. Yes the other woman; the ex who will always be present in both of your lives. Will your plans get rescheduled at the last minute, because something came up with the child or because of a situation with the other parent? Can your significant other manage any possible drama? And let’s be real, what about feeling secure about your relationship when you see him with her and their child, looking like a happy family unit? Still, it was a great relief to have taken that step. another thing with dating someone who has a child is this…But while it isn’t the ideal situation for some women, is dating a guy with a child really all that bad? It very well depends on the man, and how serious he is about getting into a committed relationship. When my guy mentioned that he had a child, I admit that the fear factor did set in. Having to deal with the ‘chile mudda’ may not be one’s cup of tea, but this is one of the things you may have to do while you’re dating your guy. something even more special is added to the relationship, as the guy would have to trust you to take such a big step in introducing you to his prized possession, and it’s often a good sign that he takes you seriously.You have to make sure you're serious and your partner is serious before you bring the kiddos into the mix.It's not fair to the kids if you aren't going to stick around.
I’m four months into a relationship with a man who has a child who I’m about to meet for the first time and, to be honest, I’m bricking it. If you do, you're a little ahead of the game because most parents understand the unconditional love and responsibilities they have for their kids. If you don't have kids, you may be a little more challenged but that's okay if you are willing to explore these 6 things you MUST find about: 1.Divorce is a type of death and requires a process of grief, even when one may have desperately wanted the divorce. Most men live with guilt post-divorce, even when a divorce is more than warranted. BTW, if he's separated versus divorced, consider that a red flag. If he has a hostile relationship with his ex, you can expect a lot more complications than what will already naturally exist when dating or living with a guy who has kids.Most of my friends were settling down, but I had no desire to have children – I’d never felt the maternal pull.I also had a one-way ticket to South America burning a hole in my handbag.As I sat with my closest girlfriends on our routine girls’ night out (GNO) one Saturday evening, the suspense at the table didn’t go unnoticed.