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They’d long ago hung up their spurs and mutated into pensioners.In fact, I couldn’t imagine them ever having had any sex, ever. But from the louder shrieks and laughter of his friends around, I know he is the guy I am looking for.Twenty-three-year-old Raj (let’s call him that for now) is giving away their secrets to a total stranger — me.I attended a conference recently featuring Steve Pavlina, the number one blogger on personal development.The topic was about expanding traffic to your blog and one of his ideas was to write about something 'timeless,' something that lots of people have in common and that breaks the mold of everyone's expectations.In my mid-fifties, however, I found myself single again, and remained so until well into my sixties. Anyway, I went out with some of them and found that dating when one’s older brings various challenges.The first thing I discovered was the chronic shortage of available men. I can understand this – nice firm body, the rejuvenating prospect of starting over again, maybe more kids. In a long marriage you age together; in a weird way your spouse remains that young person you first knew, you hardly notice the wrinkles and the thickening waist. When I meet a man he mirrors back to me my own mortality. For instance, there was the tooth business, or the lack of them.

They have freedom and access like never before – riding on the touch of the magic screen on their smartphones.

We just tend to avoid discussing that it happens among our Elders.

While Elders are usually older than we are, that's not always the case.

That’s what I thought, anyway, in my snobby and blinkered youth. Because time sped by and suddenly I’d joined them – without the perm and cardi because nobody has them now – but 60 all the same.

I’d had a longish marriage and then a 10-year love affair with a man much older than I – the cartoonist Mel Calman.


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